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Sunday, December 30th, 2012
9:11 pm
"Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold onto something or someone the more it wants to get away. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you because you think that your feelings were wrong and it makes you feel so small because it’s so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn’t come back. You’re left so alone that you can’t explain."

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Friday, November 18th, 2011
11:52 am
recording my dream

someone's wedding - initially thought it was Jen's, then it turned into Stef's (but not the one she actually had) -- absolutely gorgeous outdoor setting, everyone in beautiful dresses

saw a guy walking up the outdoor steps that reminded me of trent reznor -- this is the same guy as was in a previous dream about a friend's wedding -- he immediately becomes physically close with me, and by the end of the dream, we are passionately making out -- right before I wake up I ask him what his name is......"Christopher Rage"


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Tuesday, September 28th, 2010
3:31 pm
I am incredibly lonely

if nothing else, my cats never leave my side

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Sunday, August 29th, 2010
11:32 pm
"is it weird that everytime I talk to you, I get this weird intense horny feeling because of your age and wisdom"

one day soon, I'll update -- and since I haven't really in 2 months, it'll be a big one

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Wednesday, August 18th, 2010
11:20 pm

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Tuesday, June 15th, 2010
7:54 am - East Coast Tsunami
there is no way I can express the level of appreciation for this past weekend

saw so many old friends, so many fantastic bands, and as cheesy as it sounds, so many heart-warming show experiences -- yeah that's right, heart warming

I just want to note that I did not take part in the Geno's Vs Pat's Brooklyn cheesesteak eating battle -- neither will ever win in my book

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Tuesday, June 1st, 2010
11:11 pm - "What a great great summer"
This summer is shaping up to be one for the books

- Tsunami Fest is under 2 weeks away
- Summer of Hate, can't wait
- tattooooooo
- Thitts is Hardcore
< watching Jen witness Sheer Terror

current mood: excited

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Tuesday, May 25th, 2010
10:06 pm - 3 shows in 3 days
first and foremost, one hell of a weekend

Jen came to visit starting on Thursday night - from pickup until lights out, a million laughs were had - also received the most epic tshirt ever (at least in the non-deer shirt vein) - "nothing..EVERYTHING"

Friday: escaped work early before mentally flipping shit -- met up with Jen and Rob at the tattoo shop - enjoyed sushi with the playoff-beared Rob, and was mildly dainty eating......mildly...........the night was spent down in Baltimore (how could we pass up Hyphen offering a ride) - saw manly men and skanky hos on the streets -- Sand (from Japan) was excellent and adorable - at one point, the singer was up on someone's shoulders and went face first into a ceiling fan - Dan Craley had the quote of the night: "Danny Sherman you better get the fuck out of town, cause the lady in the red dress is clearly runnin' thaaangs" -- I drove part of the way home in Hyphen's Volvo - Jen had a gem as we dipped into sleepy delirium, "I could face fuck a Waffle House right now"

Saturday: finally made it to Kildaire's to eat - if I liked Guiness, this would be the place for me as they have Guiness ice cream floats -- the entire afternoon was spent napping - the night led to a trip up to Quakertown - I was literally old enough to be the mother to some of the kids in attendance -- it was honestly adorable to watch them jokingly push each other into the mix, then man up and fully participate - also realized that the singer for The Rival Mob is a Monet -- the night progressed into a certain someone playing for an hour with Cash - please ask Jen about the rest of the nights events ("play Paparazzi, it's fitting, it's fitting"

Sunday: I ate a salad at Maggiano's -- that's right, a salad --- show RULED (Stout, Truth and Rights, WIC, Breakdown) - witnessed Eddie "Edway" Sutton brushing his teeth longer than anyone in history - bought Vogel a drink as he sat in the corner alone - enjoyed a happy Tad, witnessed Dougie beatboxing with Karl, ate an ice cream cone during WIC, admiried NASE's bright green hat --- Sunday night was spent watching Jen watching the Lost finale (hilarious in its own way) - night was crowned as I wowed Jen with my dancing to "Teach me how to Dougie" - neither of us could breath, I ended up down on the floor, and I'm fairly certain we both lost a good number of calories

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Tuesday, May 4th, 2010
4:39 pm - new Deftones + work
today was a day at work that turned quickly following two staff "meetings"

I am surrounded, to a certain degree, by complete idiots -- people who allow poor management to continue, people who don't do their job as they're supposed to do, people who are not clinically capable

I hit a point this afternoon that I could only think about walking into my head boss's office and calmly saying "go fuck yourself"

my hope is that I will last there until September when the PsyD program begins -- I know today is not like other days at work, but my frustration levels are slowly building each week

in other news, I picked up the new Deftones album -- first commercial album I've actually bought in yeeeeeears - fantastic

I listened to "Sex Tape" 4 times in a row on the drive home to help calm down - I also got lost driving home a different way, which landed me on Upper Gulph Road, which had me driving past huuuuge mansions - also: http://www.savonarestaurant.com/home.html

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Friday, April 30th, 2010
9:48 pm - hello stranger
I have lost any and all motivation to update LJ --- I doubt I'll ever be able to put it to rest fully, but my momentum for it has clearly lost steam

had a impromptu root canal yesterday, fun times

tomorrow I head to Long Island for my first show in NY ever -- surprised it's taken me 10+ years --- excited to see Bulldoze as always, have what I'm sure will be epic conversations with Eddie Leeway, see Jason and maybe some other Pittsburgh folk, and perhaps cover someone's bed in drool......we shall see

spent the afternoon at Wharton to complete DC audits --- part of me definitely misses it there -- it was super nice to walk up the steps and hear all the clients happily scream "hey Brooke!" --- who knew jail bird addicts could make me feel so welcome

I played fetch with Skuttles tonight and it was highly adorable ---- I'm staying in tonight despite 2 date offers, what a world

current mood: content

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Saturday, April 17th, 2010
9:16 am - Sex dream
With Chino Moreno, thank you id!

then the dream progressed to involving Alice in Chains - non-sexually mind you

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Saturday, April 10th, 2010
1:01 pm - Just had a sex dream
involving Viggo Mortensen

I was in some sort of play portraying a queen, and the actor who was playing my husband left, only to have Viggo Mortensen (pseudo-Eastern Promises, but not as extreme, with wife beater) come in and sit down next to me to take over that roll -- took about 30 seconds before he said something like "well, if we're supposed to be married..." then just started making out with me -- take 8 more seconds til the good stuff

thank you brain for that dream

I was also wearing two wedding rings in it........

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Friday, April 9th, 2010
5:47 pm - So I, uhhh....
..........love this Pearl Jam song...........

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Tuesday, April 6th, 2010
12:09 am - I stare at this thing nearly every day
and tell myself "I just write something down" but never do

got a promotion at work - so far so good, lots more paperwork --- well, different paperwork. It's nice to be in one office all week, I don't miss driving around all that much

Spent the weekend at Wharton - took guys outside for both groups, got myself a nice little tan.....well, tan for me at least

went to the art museum by myself yesterday afternoon and honestly had a really nice time -- I was slightly sad though because the Picasso exhibit was extra, so I passed

tattooed last weekend at the Philly Convention which was noted in both Myspace and Facebook forms -- I need more $$ in my life to make future Jesse Strother ventures a possibility

I have been diving into the realm of short shorts..............I dunno, huge change for me that I'm still getting used to

it's bad when I base my chances of landing a man on the shorts I chose to wear

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Monday, March 8th, 2010
11:19 pm - PsyD, let's fucking do this
somehow, some way, I've been accepted by Chestnut Hill's PsyD program. The reality of this hasn't set in fully yet. I celebrated by blaring Life of Agony down 76 on the way home from work.

Weekend overall ruled:
- Killing Time and Cro Mags in Baltimore were sooooo good
- seeing everyone at the Baltimore show was fantastic as always
- made it to first base with Brian, partially against my will
- sushi with Tad ruled
- dancing/singing at the bar on Friday was awesome
- puking repeatedly following said bar experience was not
- witnessing Rob and friends try to get me to talk to random bar guy was both adorable and awkward
- not being able to watch Justin's Randy Macho Man Savage DVDs made me sad
- Jen losing bodily function, and I'll leave it at that
- Hard Ticket to Hawaii, us literally screaming with laughter

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Monday, March 1st, 2010
1:13 am - updateeesssssss
1) Chelle got proposed to tonight by Joe -- not a surprise to me as they are adorable together - congrats!
2) weekend was a good time -- Punishment, Bulldoze, awkward Skarhead set - picking up my little pony -- screaming singalongs to Lady Gaga
3) Jen introducing me to what is, quite possibly, the greatest song I have ever heard (R Kelly)
4) hanging out with the stranger known as Rob over cheesesteaks
5) doubling over laughing in the middle of Target as Jen mispronounced "boot" twice
6) having wonderful AIM and phone conversations with people I don't talk to nearly enough
7) feeling happy, feeling content

next weekend = Jen, Nate, Justin as we travel to Baltimore to enjoy Cro Mags, Killing Time, and The Inmates ---- rave glow stick car singalongs must occur


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Tuesday, February 16th, 2010
6:41 am - New computer achieved
Less than 3 hours until my PsyD interview at Chestnut Hill.............

new computer is up and running -- lovely virus took out the old hard drive, but thankfully all the data is still on there

my life is occuring in bits and pieces it feels like

weekend in Harrisburg was fine - Neato Burrito twice in one day, homemade meals, hanging out with Sarz, witnessing my parents dance, watching Tool Academy with them

Friday = Iron Age
Saturday = Wheeling and seeing the trifecta!!!

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Sunday, February 7th, 2010
11:56 am
So I'm going to actually try to follow a diet for 2 weeks --- Special K cereal or Special K breakfast bar, clearly for breakfast ----- god knows what for lunch ----- Healthy Choice meal for dinner --- snacks will be either a Special K bar, handful(s) of cashews, or some form of Healthy Choice frozen treat

now if only the snow would melt so I could go buy some of these things

starting now!
Healthy Choice soup for lunch with a few crackers and cheese...............let's see what happens.......

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Thursday, January 21st, 2010
9:48 pm - this upcoming weekend
will involve an in-room jacuzzi

2010: year of "wait, what's happening?"

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Tuesday, January 19th, 2010
5:07 pm - Its been too long
since I've updated --- my apologies dearest LJ, Chelle, Jen....pretty sure that's the only two who read this (maybe Tess?)

anyway, 2010 is going well --- had a really fun time last weekend in Baltimore and Washington DC -- I shall detail it as follows:

- had the pleasure of being passenger in my car for once as Rob offered to drive down to Baltimore, driving directly into the sun to boot
- I permitted Rob to wear the coveted Summer of H8 sunglasses only because of this offering, we re-named them Winter of Discontent sunglasses for this trip only

- met up with Danny, Tony, Brian, TT, and Sebastian upon getting to Baltimore - I have never been so enamored by another human being as I am by Sebastian - he is downright adorable, always smiling, and somehow always drunk when I see him
- Slumlords and NRSV were good times as per usual, Thor was just.....odd...and a little sad....
- finally got a chance to crash on the couch at Charles and Amy's place - that thing RULES
- Saturday Rob somehow convinced me to drive to DC (less than an hour away granted) and so a random roadtrip was begun
- went to Museum of Natural History and the Museum of American History - Rob would not touch a hissing cockroach, we were both disappointed by the size of the Hope diamond, and I never found out "was this baby swaddled to death?"

- drove back up to Baltimore after eating at the coolest place in DC, Ben's Chili Bowl - I never felt so white, yet so soulful, in my life - I don't see how either of us were able to move after eating there
- got into the show with no problem thanks to Gray Ghost - Seraphim was really really good, Gray Ghost ruled, Ringworm killed it, and Integrity had a surprisingly good set
- spent the night at Hayes' house cuddling with Chelsea, talking about 500 random things, watching the rest of the party get drunk and high, and staring endlessly at Mr.Man
- breakfast brought Baltimore Benedicts which gave us all boners

I just got back from handing in my Chestnut Hill PsyD application and am happy to have that stress off my shoulders -- I can only hope I get called in for an interview -- it's an incredibly small number of applicants they accept in the end, so my fingers are tightly crossed

current mood: happy

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